#1687
An rp response! Run for your life!
Date: 01/07/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Hi ho, Mickey the frog here
Mickey: Do you have any *ribbit* idea how hard this is with flippers?
Lita: Hush...just be thankful your not painting Evil Mike's toes. His feet STINK.
Evil Mike: HEY!
Lita: My feet smell like roses...and they're cute, too.
Mickey: I think the fumes from the polish are *ribbit* making me dizzy (faints)
Evil Mike: The fumes from the polish. Sure...nice coverup.
Lita: Evil Michael J. Nelson!!! (Hey, what does that J stand for, anyway?)
Evil Mike: Heh heh.....
Lita: Just for that, you're going to give me two manicures.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
My sister painted my nails once when I was sleeping, and I had to go to school for a week like that (cause she wouldn't give me the remover). 1st graders can be so cruel.
#1688
*gasp* Another rp response!
Date: 01/07/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
And, like Mickey's, it does little or nothing to advance the plot! What's going on here?!?!
***
Lita: Hey, Tork. Apparently Mickey's wimpy little lungs can't take nail polish fumes. You're a robot, you don't need to breathe, right? Finish my toenails.
gramps: Hey, what about me? I can do it!
<Lita throws a pair of Birkenstocks (Burkenstaks? Berkinstoks? Ugly Sandals?) at gramps.>
Lita: Go back to blowing snot bubbles, Old Man!
gramps: Sure! That's fun!
Tork: So, Lita. You were dead, right? What happened? Is there an afterlife? What was it like?
Lita: Well, it's a loooooong story.
EM: Oh, crap.
Lita: Evil Mike, you better watch it! You're already skating on thin ice, Mister!
EM: I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking.
Lita: Shut up and listen. You might learn something.
EM: Do I have to?
Lita: Yes. Now. *Ahem* Mrs. Mo killed me for no good reason, right?
Tork: Well, you did kill her sister. Twice.
Lita: Yeah, that was pretty fun. Anyway, once I was dead, I was surprised to find my spirit drifting toward a bright light--
EM: Oh, come on! That doesn't really happen!
Lita: It happened to me! Now quit interrupting, you'll just make the story take longer!
Tork: So, what happened? Did you go to Heaven? *gasp* We didn't pull your unwilling soul out of Heaven, causing you all kinds of psychological trauma, and making you secretly hate us, did we?
Lita: No. Actually, when I finally made it to the bright light I found myself in traffic court.
EM: The Hell?
Lita: It really sucked. God was the judge, and my guardian angel, who was supposed to be my buddy, couldn't seem to do anything but complain about what a bad driver I am. I'm not a bad driver!!! Jesus was supposed to be my defense attorney, but apparently He had a prior engagement appearing in a vision to some old lady in Palo Alto, so I was sunk. Turns out, it doesn't matter if you're a good person, or if you donate to charity, or if you go to church every Sunday, or if you pray all the time. God just cares about whether or not you're a courteous driver. And I don't meet the standards. The Wacky Races alone were enough to damn me to Hell forever, where you're in a crappy stinky car that's always stuck in traffic, the radio only plays teen pop, and it's a million degrees out and your AC doesn't work.
Tork: Man, that really had to suck.
Lita: It did! But I didn't go! At the last second God finally checked the big book in front of Him, and noticed that it wasn't my time. So He let me off with a warning. And I had to sit and watch a truly sickening video showing bloody car accidents… But then I was free to leave. Good thing I don't speed through school zones, or God wouldn't have given me the second chance.
EM: But He did, and now you're alive again! Great story. Can we do something else now?
Lita: I'm not done!
EM: Damn!
Lita: I came back down here, but I didn't have a body, so there wasn't much I could do. I found I could possess Phaforhrhahfah for about a minute at a time, but I couldn't keep that up for long, so I decided to visit the dimension next door and see what was going on.
gramps: What was going on?
Lita: Super Mario RPG, that's what was going on!
gramps: Cool!
Lita: I remembered what my favorite part of that game was, so I went to a really nice hotel, and got myself the Honeymoon Suite, and spent the next three days jumping on the bed and taking super hot showers!
gramps: Woooo! I love doing that!
Lita: It was great! Except that I only paid for one night. I didn't have enough money for the other two, so they told me I had to work off my debt as a bellhop. I said "Screw that!" and I jumped into the next dimension.
Tork: <bored out of his mind, but feigning interest> *yawn* And what game was that, pray tell?
Lita: Earthbound. Which was awesome. I went straight to Fourside because I grew up in a small town and I wanted to see the big city. I got to see the Runaway Five perform in person! It was great! But they weren't too happy because they owed the chick who owned the Topolla Theater like a million bucks!
EM: Wow!
Lita: Yeah, whoever is in charge of looking over their contracts before they sign them should be fired right away. Fortunately for them, though, I'd just been through the desert (on a horse with no name), and I picked up a big valuable diamond while I was there. I used it to pay their debt.
EM: A million bucks?!?!? You gave away a diamond worth a million bucks?!?!
Lita: A small price to pay for the enjoyment their wonderful music gives me. *smile*
EM: Aww… I could have a million bucks right now…
Lita: Anyway, they were so grateful, they let me ride in their tour bus with them while they toured the countryside. It was great! It's fun being a Runaway Five groupie! Their bus is awesome!!! You just have to be prepared to be stuck in one town for long periods of time when they find they have a huge debt to work off.
EM: So, Lita… you and the Runaway Five… you didn't get… friendly… with anybody in the band… did you?
Lita: So there I was, touring with the Runaway Five, and then for no apparent reason, I found myself pulled back to this world! Apparently my body had been regenerated, and was looking for the soul.
EM: You didn't answer my--
Lita: So here I am!
Tork: Yeah. We saved you. Hey, I'm wondering, did you have a body in those other worlds? Or else how could you do all that stuff just as a ghost?
Lita: <Wow, that's a hard question! And Lita doesn't know the answer! And neither do I! What now? Ooh! I know> Well, Tork, I could tell you the answer, but honestly, it's really scientific and complicated. I don't think you guys would understand it. Your heads might explode just thinking about it.
EM: Try me.
Lita: No.
EM: Wow… there was no poin whatsoever to you telling us that story, huh? I mean, it has nothing to do with anything.
Lita: No, I guess not.
<Mickey wakes up>
Mickey: What's going on?
Lita: Mickey! You were asleep! You didn't get to hear my story, did you?
Mickey: What story?
Lita: I guess I'll have to tell the whoooole thing again…
EM, Tork, and gramps: Nooooooooo!!!11!!1111!!!
Lita: After Mrs. Mo killed me, I was surprised to find my spirit drifting toward a bright light....
<and so on>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
wonders how Rimmi is doing on her rescue attempt.
#1689
I said it was an "rp response"
Date: 01/07/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Beyond that, I promised nothing.
And who says it didn't further the plot. It furthered it 1 minute! That's furthering, and you know it. So there.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
Bought the Sims yesterday. That's right, I'm peer pressure's bitch.
#1690
Damn! Now I'm gonna have to get the Sims
Date: 01/07/2002
From: wurwolf
........................................
No no no no...... I don't need *another* drain on my time. It's all I can do to keep up with everything else.
So, Mickey, does this mean we won't see you around any more?
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
Just found out her card made Card of the Day for December 7 on stamptalk.net! Check it out: http://stamptalk.net/cgi-bin/stcardoday/potd.pl?day=7&month=12&year=2001
(shows how often I actually check there)
#1691
I'm supposed to save Phlaquey Teethius?
Date: 01/07/2002
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I thought you told me to make rice crispy treats which I did. Rice Crispy treats for all!!!
I don't even know where PM is.
Where is Cara? Did we lose her? I didn't like all the lesbian stuff but the way she worshipped the ground I walked on was kind of cool.
Oh- MST3K Hamlet rules!
A_Judas_Rimmer
The girl without a tagline.
Sartorial!
#1692
I wanna further the plot, too!
Date: 01/07/2002
From: grandmapa
<<<<<<<<<
<the plot thickens...>
<Lita has just finished retelling her whole entire story to Mickey, who has fallen asleep with everyone else>
Lita: The end! Isn't that exciting, Mickey? Mickey? Mickey?! Tork?! EM?! gramps?! I spend all that time telling about my dangerous journey, and is this the pity I get?! I'll show them... <paints the toenail polish all over their faces, making mustaches, rosy red cheeks, big puffy eyes, and the such> Ha ha! You deserve it!
I really don't have time right now to do anything else. But I'll be back!
gramps!
Can't believe the stupid newbies trying to start flamewars over Trekkies and Joel vs. Mike!
Morons...
Nice cards, wurwolf! You get a cookie! But only if you give me the chair! Please? <puppy eyes>
7:07 P.M. CST!
#1693
A cookie for Mickey's chair?!
Date: 01/07/2002
From: wurwolf
.....................................
Surely you jest! There is no way you're getting my..... er, I mean *Mickey's* chair. You can keep your moldy old cookie, old man, I'll never give up this chair!
And why have you turned Lita into Jigglypuff?
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#1694
But we won the chair, gramps!
Date: 01/07/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Fair and square! Right? That's what I heard, anyway.
Rimmi, the current rp plot has been taking place in an alternate dimension. Cara is presumably still hanging out in the dimension the rp usually takes place in, along with 42, Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow, Nabut, wurwolf, and everybody else we know and love who hasn't been pulled into this new dimension with us.
All right. You guys want the plot to be furthered? Well, then I'll do it, because that the kind of thing I do! Besides, it appears that I'm the only one here who knows anything about Chrono Trigger, since PM's run off again, and Tork hardly ever contributes to the plot anyway. <Lita poins at Tork in a snobby fashion, then she writes the next part.>
***
<Pharaoh Mobius is locked in the dungeon. It's been three days since he was sentenced to death, and his execution is scheduled to happen any minute now! Sure, he could have escaped easily on the first day, but he didn't feel the need to come in here and write himself doing that. Well, I'm the one writing now, and I say he just sat on his ass all three days, waiting to die! So there, PM! That's what you get! Blah! Eventually, the guards show up and escort PM to the electric chair. Just as they're strapping him in, Rimmer breaks down the door, runs in, and shoots all the guards!!!>
PM: Rimmer! You saved me!
Rimmer: Yeah. Not usually my thing, but there you have it. Consider yourself rescued.
PM: What took you so long? I've been here for three days!
Rimmer: I had a very important Rice Crispy Treat related project to complete.
PM: That took you three days?
Rimmer: Uh-huh.
<Not strictly true. Everybody knows she spent the last three days playing the Sims, except for the last 20 minutes, which she spent on the Rice Crispy Treats. But nobody would stoop to making these kinds of accusations of a girl who enjoys genital mutilation.>
Rimmer: So, are we just going to stand around in this dungeon here, or are we going to actually do something?
PM: I guess we'd better escape.
Rimmer: Ok.
<And they do. It's terribly exciting. The escape involves a lot of sneaking up on the guards and bonking them on the back of the head when they aren't looking, there's the freeing of a nice local kid who was unfairly imprisoned, and there's even a big cool fight with a robot dragon at the end. Eventually, they end up back in the main hall of the castle, where they are immediately surrounded by a bunch of soldiers.>
Rimmer: Oh, crap!
***
<Back in Lita's Royal Chamber, Lita is admiring the artwork she's done on her friends' faces. She's talking to herself, not even paying attention to the fact that her audience isn't listening. Note: The following poinless anecdote is absolutely true.>
Lita: I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself… and I do. It reminds me of the time in my high school drama class, when I was supposed to be working on a scene with two other students. One of them was this annoying girl (a Spicegirls fan, as I recall) who refused to cooperate. We had to perform in a few minutes, and she was just goofing off! Then, just to be even more annoying, she started pretending to be asleep, and she wouldn't wake up! So we pulled out our pens, and started writing on her arms. We figured that would get her attention because she was always really, really neurotic about those kinds of things. But she didn't open her eyes. The other guy in our group started writing on her face. He colored in her lips, drew interesting designs around her eyes, and gave her a moustache before she finally opened her eyes, and freaked out. She hadn't believed we were actually writing on her, she thought we'd left he caps on the pens. This was in spite of our *constant* exclamations of, "Gee! I can't believe Anna's letting us *actually* write on her with our ACTUAL PENS WITH ACTUAL INK IN THEM!!! Those really are interesting designs that we REALLY ARE WRITING ON ANNA'S SKIN!!! Boy, I sure hope Anna doesn't open her eyes and notice that we REALLY ARE WRITING ON HER!!!" Things like that. I feel less guilty because of that fact. If she'd been listening to us, she would only have had a line or two on her arms. Sometimes people deserve what they get.
<Lita finishes her long and stupid monologue just in time to hear the commotion going on in the main hall.>
Lita: Eek! Everybody! Wake up! Something's happening!
<Lita wakes up Evil Mike, Tork, grandmapa, and Mickey. They start laughing heartily at each other's faces, until they realize that their own faces are painted too.>
EM, Tork, gramps, and Mickey: Heeyyyy! Lita!!!
Lita: Next time I have a story to tell, you'll stay awake through the whole thing. Now shut up. Something is going on out there! Let's go see!
<The group runs out to the hall, where Rimmer and PM are getting ready to fight all the guards. The guards are closing in.>
Lita: <all princess-like> HEY!!! KNOCK IT OFF!!!
Guards: Huh? Oh! Princess Nadia! <They all bow.>
Lita: Cool!
Rimmer: Hey, guys! What happened to your faces?
<The guys all glare at Lita.>
Lita: Yeah, whatever. It's your own stupid faults. Look, I'm tired of this particular era. What do you all say we go to a different one?
PM: Sounds good to me.
Lita: Great!
<Since Lita got to the castle, she's been wearing a lovely princess gown. She rips it off dramatically now to reveal… the same genie getup she's been wearing since she got to this dimension! Good thing Lita was planning ahead for this moment, gratuitous nudity has been narrowly averted! The group goes outside, where Spidey has been waiting patiently. They all pile in, and Lita climbs behind the controls.>
Lita: Hey, I just realized something! Rimmi and Phafofhhafoogah haven't heard my story yet!
Mickey, Tork, gramps, & EM: Aaaargh!
Lita: Well, it goes something like this. *ahem* After Mrs. Mo killed me, I was surprised to find my spirit drifting toward a bright light....
<There is more groaning from the rest of the group as Spidey makes the time jump.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
can be quite a talker
once she has a story she likes.
#1695
Last time we saw Cara...
Date: 01/07/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
she was beating the #$@! out of Rickey
Sayyyyyy....that reminds me...
************************************************************
(As 42 struggles to get free from the ropes, as well as Cow's odd inter-species advances, a police car shows up. The policeman comes out of the car, and gee, what do you know, it's Alan Hale)
Sheriff Hale: Hmmm....I don't know if there's a law against that sort of thing, but there should be.
42: This *ISN'T* what it looks like, trust me.
Cow: What's your problemoo? Just because I tried to kill you all, I'moo not appealing?
42: That's not it. It's because, I er....I hate British people, and you used to be British.
Cow: Well, I never.
Sheriff Hale: It's illeagel in this town to be British, Cow.
Cow: Oh, because of the diseases that British Cows get, like Mooad Cow and stuff?
Sheriff Hale: No, it's just illeagel to be British.
42: What's your poin, Hale? Why are you here?
Sheriff Hale: Well, after Gilligan, my career went down the crapper...Oh, you wanna know why I'm here right now.
42: Not really. I'm more concerned about getting out of these ropes.
Sheriff Hale: Serves you right, you kidnapper.
42: I wasn't kidnapping him!
Sheriff Hale: Why do I always get mixed up with you people? You know, there are perfectly good murderers out there. I'm so pathetic.
Cow: No argumooent here.
Sheriff Hale: Oh, how I long to be shoved up that spider's butt again.
42: Hey, that can be arranged.
Sheriff Hale: Er...where was I? Oh, yeah...(takes out a picture) Have you seen this man?
42: As a matter of fact I have. That's Rickey.
Sheriff Hale: Rickey? So that's what he's calling himself nowadays, huh?
Cow: So he's not Mooickey's EVIL TWIN BROTHER®?
Sheriff Hale: Nope, just some deranged lunatic who stalks people who are jealous of their friends with clones and/or alternate reality versions of themselves. He just latches on, makes up stories.
42: So he's not going to kill Mickey? How disapoini...that's great.
Sheriff Hale: Oh no, he'll kill him. He just likes to establish himself as a character first.
Cow: What about his sister?
Sheriff Hale: Sister? Oh, you mean Nickey, his very ugly twin brother.
42: Wait untill Evil Mike finds out.
Sheriff Hale: Well, you two crazy kids let me know if he shows up, alright?
42: Hey, aren't you going to untie us?
Sheriff Hale: After all the grief you and your friends have caused me? Nope. I hope you and the Cow have a good time. (leaves)
42: Grrrr....
Cow: Admooit it, you like it.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
No, peer pressure's bitch will not become one of my taglines. Hey Rimmer, you want it?
#1696
I'm not going anywhere, wurwolf.
Date: 01/07/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
But don't worry............
If I do leave, you'll have my chair to remember me by. *sigh*
So, I guess Schmoe wants to kick my ass now. Hey, I think I'll go play the Sims for a few years.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
I've changed my mind, Rimmer. You can't have it. You said the "H" word.
#1697
about The Sims
Date: 01/07/2002
From: Tork_110
I was wondering. Can you create a character that's goofy, then create a character that constantly beats up that character? How about a woman who likes to threaten men with her sword? How about a woman who likes to run around with her chair?
#1698
Zah! n/t
Date: 01/07/2002
From: HenryX
.
#1699
Oh, don't listen to Mickey, wurwolf...
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Mickeys_Chair
He's been drinking.
Spin!
#1700
Vulture! That's me n/t
Date: 01/08/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
You'll get no tagline and like it.
#1701
What about me?
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Torks_chair
Nobody likes me.
*sniff*
#1702
Well, Lita.....
Date: 01/08/2002
From: grandmapa
<<<<<<<<<
Yes, we have won the chair, but it seems that a little bratty girl with pigtails named wurwolf won't give it up! But, I'll do something about that... <while wurwolf is busy talking to Mickeys_chair, snatches it out from under her and replaces it with a splintery log. Ouch!>
Here we are! Now, why don't we go over to your house and sit in it and spin in it and stuff! Fun!
Viva La Resistance!!!
gramps!
Better put an alarm on it, though.
#1703
<storms after grampy>
Date: 01/08/2002
From: wurwolf
......................................
You slimy little toad, you give me that chair back! I took it fair and square from Mickey!
<beats grampy over the head with the splintery log and leaves him by the side of the road>
And don't go all elderly on me! You're younger than I am, for crying out loud! HMMPH!
<whispers to Mickey's chair> There there, I know it was traumatic. I'll never let you leave my sight again. Shhhhh.....
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#1704
How do you think I feel, Torks_chair?
Date: 01/08/2002
From: wurwolfs_chair
.....................................
She used to sit on me..... now, she's off galavanting with some other office chair and I'm left here, alone and cold. Just because it's made out of wood and more comfy..... and zips around better...... *sniff*
Come on, let's go get hammered.
#1705
[Lita] So, how did you like my story???
Date: 01/08/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<SNES Mode>>>
[PM] It sure was...
[Lita] Engaging? Spectacular? Stupendous?
[PM] ...LONG.
[Lita shoots PM an evil glare, that under other circumstances could kill. Fortunately for him, however, Lita is skilled in Water magics, and not Shadow magics. He *does* get mighty chilly, however.]
[Gramps] Wherrerre are we goin', any-hoorrher?
[Rimmi] The time indicator reads "Dark Ages." Ugh, *that* doesn't sound promising.
[Lita] No! This era is really cool! There's flying cities, and Nus everywhere, and all kinds of magical crap!
[Tork] Not to mention the Ocean Palace...
[Lita] Shut up, Tork!
[Mickey] Ocean Palace? What's that?
[Tork] Only the seat of evil for this entire timeframe!
[Lita] Shut UP, Tork!!!
[PM] Tork's right, Lita. The Ocean Palace becomes the Black Omen, and that's *real* bad mojo.
[Rimmi] Umm... Black Omen, Lita?
[Lita] Eh, don't listen to them. They're party poopers! [She sticks her tongue out at PM and Tork.] This'll be fun! Floating cities! Neato-keen magical doodads!
[PM] All of the non-magic users doomed to a slavish existence in the frozen hell-hole that the land below has become...
[Lita] Ixnay onway ethay *ellhay-olehay*, astardbay!!!
[PM thinks for a minute, then realizes what she said.] HEY!
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
Vice President of the Mr. T Fan Club
Yeah, it's short, but I have to get back to work.
I'll try to do more later.
Sarcophagus!
#1706
SQUEEEEEEEAAAK !!!!!!!
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Litas_chair
............................................................
SQUEEEEEEEEEAAAAK!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEAAAAK!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEAAAAK!!!!
Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak!!!!
Squeeeeeeeaaaak!1!!1!!
Squeak!
Signed,
Lita's Chair
(squeak!)
#1707
Oh, grow up, all of you. n/t
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Mickeys_Chair
Spin!
#1708
<punches Mickeys_chair in the......
Date: 01/08/2002
From: wurwolfs_chair
..........................................
Um.... seat. Yeah! I'm gonna punch you in the seat, you bastard! First you steal my owner, now you're telling me to grow up?! I don't think so! Eat spinning death!
Chair fight!
#1709
Squeak?
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Litas_chair
...........................................................
Squeak!
<Lita's Chair jumps up and down excitedly and claps its arms as it's watching the fight. It's waving a little "Go wurwolf's Chair" flag.>
Squeak squeak squeak!!! SQUEAK!!!
Signed,
Lita's Chair
#1710
Shame on you, wurwolfs_chair
Date: 01/08/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
That's no way to act...
Don't you want your owner to be happy? She needs that chair and...wait a minute. Why the hell am I taking her side now? GIVE ME BACK MY CHAIR!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
Has a whole photo album filled with pictures of my chair.
#1711
I don't have a chair...
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Lord_KFB_Cow
*sniff* Moo.
#1712
<Spidey plows into some snow.>
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Carmelita9000
Back to the RP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Everybody climbs out of Spidey. Brrr! Look at all the snow! It's freezing out here!>
Rimmer: <looking at all the snow> Boy, Lita, I can see why you wanted to come here.
Lita: <Shivering like crazy.> Brrrrr!!! Sh-sh-sh-shuttttupppp Rrrrimmmmerrrr!!! Brrrrr!!!! *shiver*
Tork: Are you cold, Lita?
Rimmer: Awwww…. Poor Lita's cold! Serves you right, walking around in the snow in that getup!
Lita: *shiver* Ittttt's m-m-m-myyyyy aaaaddddvvvennnnttturrringggg c-c-c-cossstttummme!!! *freeze*
Rimmer: It's your underwear!
Lita: Hmmph!!
Mickey: *croak* So, where to?
PM: Let's check out that cave over there.
Lita: N-n-n-nooo!!! *shiver* Llllettts g-g-g-go t-t-t-to thhhhatttt f-f-f-flasshhhy ttthhhinggg ovvver thhhere! <Lita poins at that flashy thing over there.>
gramps: What's in the cave, Phahfofghagfooha?
PM: A colony of innocent people who are forced to live in a hole in the ground simply because they can't use magic.
Lita: Sh-sh-sh-shuttttupppp!! Ittt is n-n-not!!!
PM: *quietly* Is too.
<Lita turns and walks toward the flashy thing. Everybody else watches her go. Finally, she turns and glares at them.>
Lita: Wwwwelll? Arre you c-c-coming?
Rimmer: I suppose if we let her run off by herself she'll find some way to accidentally blow up the world.
EM: Sounds good to me.
Rimmer: No, Evil Mike, that's a bad thing.
EM: Who says?
Rimmer: Come on.
<They follow Lita to the flashy thing, which turns out to be a transporter, kind of like the ones on Star Trek. Everybody climbs on, and they are beamed up to the floating islands above. They all look around at the nice green grass, and the lovely waterfalls, and the frolicking Nus, and shiny sparkly cities, and all the other cool stuff.>
Lita: See? This is way better than any stinky old cave! And warmer too! Aren't you glad we came here?
PM: This place is evil--
Lita: Oh, pipe down about the evil! Since when are you so hung up on evil, Mr. I'm a Big-Shot Pulp Villain?
PM: Ok, poin taken.
EM: So now what?
Rimmer: That big building on the top of the hill looks cool! Let's go there!
Tork: To Zeal Palace? Where the evil Queen Zeal lives?
Lita: Sounds good! Glad you all agree!
<Yeah, I know there are two other cities on the way. I'm cutting to the chase. They get to Zeal Place. It's really nice.>
Rimmer: Wow… look at this place!
Mickey: <looking at an old book that's sitting on a desk> Hey, *ribbit* what's in this book--
Lita, Tork, & PM: No! Don't!
<Too late. Mickey opens the book and it bursts into flames, catching him on fire.>
Mickey: *croak* Aaaagh!!!
Lita: Ice!!
<Lita's special magic spell special effect happens, where she floats and her ponytail stands up, all that cool stuff. A large block of ice comes out of nowhere and falls on Mickey. It hurts! But at least the fire is out.>
Rimmer: Mickey, from now on, don't open magic spell books that you don't know what they do.
Mickey: Check. Owww…
<Just then, a little girl runs through the room, chasing a small cat.>
Little Girl: Mr. Whiskers! Come back!
Cat: Meow!
<The little girl stops when she sees everybody standing there. She gets a strange faraway look in her eyes.>
Little Girl: I see… One among you will soon perish…
Rimmer: EEEK!!!
Mickey: What the, *croak* How dare you threaten us, Kid!!!
Lita: One of us will perish? What? Again?
Little Girl: Huh? Again? What do you mean Aga-- Oh! I get it! Dammit! Stupid Time Space Continuum!!! It screws up my visions!!! <She storms off>
Lita: Cute kid.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
#1713
<Back in our dimension>
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Carmelita42
It's RP madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Carmelita42 and Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow are tied to a tree.>
Lita42: Geez, I can't believe we're still here. Seems like it's been practically forever. How long would you say we've been here, Cow?
cow: Even an eternity is not long enough for mooe to be with you, Darling.
Lita42: Oh, cut that out! It's really creepy!
cow: What? Just because I'moo a cow I can't have a normooal healthy relationship? I have needs too!
Lita42: Well then why don't you find somebody from your own species to hit on?
cow: Who? You mooean all the other three inch high ceramooic talking cows? *sarcastic* Yes, there are lots of themoo.
Lita42: Ok, I see your poin. But you're still not human. So we can't be together.
cow: I used to be humooan! Back before I was in this stupid ceramooic cow figurine! I was a British Noblemooan! And very wealthy! That wasn't too long ago, either!
Lita42: You know, that's not strictly true. Before you were a cow, you were dead. For a really long time. Sorry, but I don't go in for necrophilia.
cow: I wasn't dead! I was *undead*!
Lita42: Oh, don't pretend that's not just as bad!
cow: Comooe on! You know you love mooe! You're always being nice to mooe!
Lita42: I'm nice to you because 9000 seems to like you so much.
cow: That stupid bitch… I hate her so… She can't even remooemoober mooy namooe… <Oops, he got sidetracked. That wasn't intentional. He gets back on the subject.> In any case, I'moo alive now.
Lita42: Yeah. And you're also a cow. Sorry, but I don't go in for bestiality.
cow: I'moo not really a cow!
Lita42: I don't go for girls either.
cow: Oh, come on that's so unfair--Huh? I'm not a girl!
Lita42: Yes you are, *Cow*!
cow: I'moo a boy cow!
Lita42: There's no such thing! There's girl cows, and there's bulls. No boy cows.
cow: But I have horns!
Lita42: Yeah. And you have udders too.
cow: But… I'MOO NOT A GIRL!!!
Lita42: You can keep trying to say that but--
cow: Hey! I know what you're trying to do! You're trying to get mooe to not like you anymooore! It's not going to work!
Lita42: Uugh… damn. <She has an idea. Rickey will distract the cow!> Hey, where's Rickey been all this time? RICKEY!!! RIIIICKEY!!!!
<Rickey shows up and puts his arm around Lita42>
Rickey: Hey, Beautiful. You called?
Lita42: Oh, crap. I forgot about that…
Rickey: Hey, if you like screaming my name, what do you say we--
Lita42: There's no possible way for you to end that sentence that won't get you punched as soon as I'm untied.
Rickey: You know you love it.
cow: Hey, you ugly mooanbitch! Get your filthy hands off mooy womooan!
Rickey: She's my woman, you ugly little hunk of plaster!
cow: I'll tear your face off you ugly piece of crap!
Rickey: I'd like to see you try, you ugly pile of puke!
Lita42: Oh, why don't you both cram it?!?!
Carmelita42
is involved in a wacky love triangle!!!
#1714
Cow: Well at least I'moo not a
Date: 01/08/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
deranged lunatic stalker...
Rickey: I'm not a stalker! Stalkers have specific targets!
42: Good job Cow. I forgot about that one. So butt out, Rickey, if that is indeed your real name.
"Rickey": It isn't...but I'm not telling you my real name, so there.
Cow: Probably ran out of namooes that rhymooe with Mooickey.
42: How 'bout, Lick Me. (Cow looks at 42) What? It rhymes, kind of. And no, I'm not asking you.
Cow: What is your real namooe, not that I care.
"Rickey": I told you, I'm not telling you.
42: Come on! We'll get Grandmapa to give you a cookie when he comes back!
"Rickey": Well, what kind of a cookie? AHEM! No, never.
(Car drives by, it's Nickey)
Nickey: Are you done yet, Mortimer?
"Rickey": Um.....
Cow: Moortimooer?! That's even funnier than your goatee!
Mortimer: That's it Cow, you're on my list!
42: It's not that bad, Mortim...I can't even say it with a straight face.
Mortimer: Shutup, Shutup, SHUTUP!!! You're on my list, too.
Cow: Hey, did you hear that? The wind rustling through that tree's leaves sounds like it's laughing, too! Better put that tree on the list!
Mortimer: I'll get all of you! I swear! (storms off)
Cow: Oooh, guess we really hurt his feelings.
42: Yeah, he was our best chance to get rid of Mickey. I miss him already. So, who's going to untie us?
(A minute of silence passes)
42: Mortimer (starts laughing)
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
Mortimer...tee hee!
#1715
Can I play too?
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Dumbschmoes_Stool
Eeeeeew!!
Maybe this was a bad idea for a handle.
I stink!!
#1716
you're e-mail doesn't work
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Torks_chair
I was going to write you a threatening letter, too. Now it seems kind of stupid.
And nobody answered Tork's question. He's not crying now but he's hurting on the inside.
#1717
I am the best chair!
Date: 01/08/2002
From: gramps_chair
<<<<<<<<<
You will never be as comfortable or have the rollingnisity of me! <begins hitting the other chairs with its reclining back>
gramps_chair
My master has been brainwashed by singing "Hello Dolly" about ten times in one hour.
o/Why helloooooooooooo, Dolly! Why helloooooooooo, Dolly!
It's so nice to have you back where you belong! You're lookin' sweeeeeeeeeeeell, Dolly.../o Aaaaaaack! Make it stop!!! School productions, wow...
#1718
Squeak!
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Litas_chair
............................................................
Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!
<Lita's chair is really excited (as it often is). It runs circles around everybody else's chairs.>
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!!!!!
Signed,
Lita's Chair
#1719
Bumper chairs!!
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Dumbschmoes_Stool
*beep beep!*
************
I'm gonna throw my stool around!!
Eeeeeeew again!
I'm no good at this!
#1720
wulfie might like Schmoe.....
Date: 01/08/2002
From: wurwolfs_chair
.................................
but there is no way in hell I'm gonna cozy up to a stool! Gross! Go bathe, you!
Gross!
#1721
Hey, Tork....
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
I take it that the question you were referring to that nobody answered was your question about The Sims you asked that nobody answered:
"I was wondering. Can you create a character that's goofy, then create a character that constantly beats up that character? How about a woman who likes to threaten men with her sword? How about a woman who likes to run around with her chair?"
Your answer:
Sort of, Yes (but it's complicated), and no.
C'mon, Tork! Buy the Sims! You know you want to! Look at Mickey, he did it! <Tork looks at Mickey> Actually, quit looking at Mickey, that's a bad example. <Mickey: Hey!> Come on! Join us! Joiiiinnnn Ussssss!!!!
Lita
#1722
Why would you want to, Tork?
Date: 01/08/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
That would be kind of creepy.
I bought my Sim one of those chairs!
Goofy guy who always gets beaten up by that other guy/ bad example
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc
What about the U2 obsessed clone girl? You didn't mention her.
#1723
You could do that, Mickey.
Date: 01/08/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
I had an extra lot or two in the Sims (you get lots more lots with the expansion packs) so I put myself and my family into the game, along with a pretty close approximation of my house. Since the Lita in the game has a stereo in her room, and I've got lots and lots of u2 songs programmed to play on the stereo, there you have it. A u2 obsessed clone girl. That is, me. No clones though. I could make them, but I *choose* not to. I did the same thing with my Grandma's house and moved a few cousins in with her and Grandpa. Actually, I did Grandma's house before I did my own. What? What do you mean you don't care? It was a rhetorical question? Heck with you! You'd be impressed if you saw what a good job I did! Yes you would! Hmph!
Lita
Next up: Yet another hiatus
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